on the gold and brown textured rug in front of the tea table and so would he. I decided to have him up for cocktails, if I could only catch him. Would he be willing to come up for cocktails?
But I was never speedy enough for him to hear me and he never slowed down until he was well ahead of me on the walk. I wondered what he must think of me and if he went by everybody in such a great hurry. His walks must have been very tiring.
We waited often on the warm sidewalk while night fell and Sandra finished washing and looking. I did not want to appear anxious.
While we were waiting and washing an old couple came up and talked to Sandra They enjoyed talking to cats. I told them she was a rare Abyssinian and that she flew but now was tired. Also she smiled.
The old man who had teeth and a shapeless body smiled as if he also were good at smiling and the old lady rustled the skirt of her dress and said. "Kitty, kitty." She was terribly overdressed.
When they came around the next evening, not wanting to appear idiotic, I talked and made Sandra smile for them. She had learned it as a command. So had the old man.
I said. "Sandra, smile," and she smiled until the old lady touched her. The old man was retired from the fight business. He wanted to live a peaceful life and they loved children and animals and sat near sandboxes to see the children and walked about in the grass to watch the people with animals. He was always smiling.
I did not particularly like them. I did not want to be watched with Sandra. I wanted to watch for the boy. But they were a good excuse to stay in the park when he did not come. I did not want to go back home.
When I used to come home to John, I always found some party at home of sharp, amused faces and long drinks where they would try to make me talk. I resolved on gin and tonic for the boy when he came and I would not be sharp and amused but very understanding. But it did not look as if he would come and so I thought I must be forever alone. Perhaps I was destined to be alone!
The old lady laughed when Sandra began to wash. She did so love to watch animals, the dear old thing, but, feeling the small gust of air, I turned suddenly and said, "Hello. Kind of late tonight, aren't you?"
I dreamed of John that night. The boy had looked at me directly. His eyes were very blue and I had seen my face in them, but he had not answered. Perhaps I had frightened him off.
I did not see the boy for several days. But dreaming of John made me feel better, as if I had actually been with somebody I really knew, no matter how bad. In the dream John had had socks on in bed and was a bear from Yellowstone park in one part. And I had been a bear and, when he stopped and got up, we walked around among all the people as if we were two of them.
John and I had actually once gone to Yellowstone and we had had a fight there. Because he scratched me and screamed, we did not stay in the park overnight. I could not stand it. As we left, he told me to stop crying. He was then very calm. It was a shame. When I awoke I found Sandra on my chest, looking at me out of sleepy eyes.
One day I saw the boy watching us. He was standing in the sun-blinded window of a boarding house on the corner. It was a Sunday and the old couple were watching Sandra play.
He could not wave or speak. When I looked again, he had left the window.
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